-          Howdy, miss. I am calling you because I need a few questions answered. They gonna have a hair test done on me and I gotta know how I can pass it. They did one last week, and I really need to pass this one because it is very important, so I need the best stuff you all have. I have been clean for a long time; it is kind of hard to remember when was the last time I used, but it looks like they really do wanna find what it is in my hair since they are doing this test again.

-          Do you know the results of your previous test?

-          Nah, they did not tell me how I tested, they just requested another one. I assume that the only reason why they would want another one is if I failed the first one, I would think…

-          Yeah, that is logical. Well, do not worry – we have an excellent shampoo that will help you pass the hair drug test. It is very concentrated, starts working right away and all you need to do is just use it on the same day as the test.

-          Oh, do you have one that I can use now and be clean from now on? I do not know when the test is going to be, and I am not sure if they gonna do several tests or just one – I mean, if they asked me to come in twice, there is no guarantee that they will not ask me three times, right?

-          Unfortunately, such shampoo does not exist – hair is a dead element, there is no blood flow in it, hence it cannot be permanently cleansed.

-          Aha… Even if you scrub it real good?

-          I am afraid not…

-          Well, alright, send me some of that stuff – I really need it!