Category: How to pass

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• Are there any home remedies to pass a drug test?

  Posted on December 3rd, 2009 How to pass

  Are there any home remedies to pass a drug test? Do they really work?
  Before analyzing any information about anything in particular, you need to know that most drug metabolites are stored in the fat cells. Every time you use the toxin level is increasing; and every time you go to the bathroom some amount of metabolites leave your body.
  Here is a list of home remedies and why they do not work.
  1. Water
  Rumor has it, that if you drink a lot of water, it will make your urine clean of any toxins. It’s true that it will help you pass, but not the way you think it will: overloading your kidneys in a short period of time will dilute the urine to the point where there aren’t enough drug metabolites in it to register on a test. Yes, it will dilute your urine and make the sample impossible to test, so the test results will be inconclusive and they will reschedule you or fail you, depending on the company policy.
  2. Exercising
  Since drug metabolites are fat soluble, you need to exercise to really purify your body. You need to lose some weight which will release toxins into the blood and urine, and your body will be clean very soon. The problem is – it takes quite some time to lose a significant amount of weight. But while you working out and stressing out your liver and kidneys, you need some nourishment so your organs will work better. Just exercising alone is not enough. But whatever you do, do NOT exercise right before the test – rest for at least 2-3 days before – you don’t want more metabolites to be flushed out of your system right before your test day. However, you don’t have to stop if you work out on a regular basis.
  3. Diuretics
  By making you urinate, diuretics aren’t too helpful in passing a test. To get your urine clean of drug metabolites you do not only have to drink a lot of fluids, you’ve also got to pee a lot to flush them out of your system. But then again, it does not get rid of the problem – sample will be too diluted for a test.
  4. Cranberry Juice/Capsules
  Cranberry juice is a mild diuretic, so you’re facing same issues as in #3.
  5. Vinegar
  Besides burning your mouth, vinegar does not do anything to make you pass the test if you drink it. Another way of using it is to add it to the sample – but it will only change the PH of your urine. At any rate, it’s one more home remedy that’s totally useless for passing a drug test, since current testing methods routinely check for this adulterant.
  6. Niacin
  Taking massive doses of niacin will not only make you fail a test, but definitely will make you sick. The human body only needs about 15mg of niacin per day. Excessive intake of it can cause permanent damage to your liver.
  7. Bleach
  This is another adulterant that is being routinely tested for in labs. Bleach will not clean your sample if you add it to the urine, and will definitely bring you to emergency room if you drink it.
  8. Goldenseal
  Goldenseal is not very effective in cleansing out the body of toxins. It might be a healthy supplement, but that’s all. Plus, the labs normally test for the presence of this herb in urine samples.

• About Instant Tests

  Posted on December 2nd, 2009 How to pass

  One of the most widespread types of urine testing is instant screening test, which is usually detects up to ten drugs in a single test. It is easy and reliable test that gives the result within few minutes. If the result is positive – one line is indicated, and if the result is negative – two lines. Although it might be violating a person’s privacy, the employers very commonly use this kind of testing. However, the results of instant screening are usually difficult to defend in a court of law, unless followed by an equivalent lab-based test.

  5 Panel Screening would check for Cannabinoids (THC), Amphetamines, Opiates (Codeine, Morphine, Heroin, Oxycodone, Vicodin, etc.), Methamphetamines and Cocaine.

  7 Panel test adds Barbiturates and Benzodiazepines.

  10 Panel test adds Methadone, Ecstasy and Phencyclidine (PCP).

  12 Panel test adds Tricyclic Antidepressant (TCA)  and MDA.

  The list of toxins can vary.

  If the sample shows any sings of tampering, the presence of adulterants can be checked for, if hasn’t been conducted in the beginning. Adulteration test checks for:

  Creatinine level – testing the sample for dilution.

  pH level – testing for the presence of acidic or alkaline adulterant.

  Glutaraldehyde – testing for the presence of exogenous aldehyde.

  Nitrite – testing for the presence of exogenous nitrite.

  Oxidants – testing for the presence of oxidizing reagents.

  To see if you urine sample will pass all of the above parameters, you can test yourself at home – convenient and quick way to get the answer.

• And the heating pad goes boom!

  Posted on December 1st, 2009 How to pass

  Synthetic urine is basically a foolproof method. If you keep it at the correct temperature, there is no reason not to pass with it, unless it’s for DOT of course.

  A customer placed an order for a 2 oz bottle of synthetic urine. He is heavy marijuana and cocaine user and he needs to pass a urine test. He called and placed the order with me. I always ask the customer if they would like an extra heating pack, just in case something happens to the first one. He said no, and just ordered the urine package.

  A couple days later I get a phone call:

  “MB Detox. How can I help you?”

  “I can’t believe that I just did.”

  It was the same customer. He was really panicking and I could not understand why.

  “I opened the heating pack and put it in the microwave.”

  Oh this cannot be good, I thought to myself.

  “I turned it on for 10 seconds and about 5 seconds later I heard a loud nose! Boom! I ran over to the microwave and the heating pack had exploded! It f***ed up my microwave!!!”

  I really just wanted to laugh because on the wrapping of the heating pack it does not say anything about microwaving and I’m sure if it happened to someone else he would he laughing too.

  “I don’t know what to do. How am I supposed to keep to urine warm now? My test is in 30 minutes!”

  “Since you don’t have an extra heating pad, I suggest you warm the urine right before you leave the house and try to keep it in a warm place. If your microwave does not work you can put the bottle under very hot water, but that may take a while to heat it up.”

  That’s a pretty funny story about a heating pad.

• Feeling Minty!

  Posted on November 30th, 2009 How to pass

  A while back a customer called me and asked how to pass a saliva test. I recommended the mouthwash we have and explained everything about it. Then he asked me if I knew if “Altoids” worked to pass a saliva test. I told him I highly doubt he can pass with “Altoids”. He did not take my advice, said thank you and bye.

  2 days later I receive a phone call from the same guy. He seems very upset and was panicking.

  “How can I help you?”

  “Hi, I don’t know if you remember me. Oh, please I hope you remember me. I spoke to you 2 days ago, you told me I should have purchased the mouthwash, but I wanted to be a smart ass. So, I told you I was going to try to eat “Altoids”, you know those mints, because I heard that if you stuff your face with them and suck on enough of them prior to your test, that you can pass your test.”

  “ Yes, I remember you. What happened?”

  “Well I started to eat the “Altoids” the night before my test. I bought so many of them. I would put them in my mouth, move them to my cheeks and let them melt there. So, I did it last night and all day today. I even did it driving to the test. The last time I did it, I started to feel my mouth burning, so I looked in my mouth and the inside of my cheeks on both sides are covered in sores. OMG!! I don’t know what to do!

  All I could say was: “WOW!”

  “Now what am I supposed to do? If they look in my mouth, they will know I was trying to conceal the toxins in my mouth. I heard they even ask you if you have had any mint intake. I’m really worried and do not know what to do. Please help!”

  “You can ether go try and pass your test or it will be better if you can try and reschedule your test.”

  “ Ok, I will call you back, Thank You.”

  The customer called back within a couple of minutes. He was able to reschedule his test. He purchased the mouthwash from me, called back in 2 weeks and told me he passed.

• Tough decision.

  Posted on November 27th, 2009 How to pass

  It was a good sunny day, and a very nice lady called in to get help in getting a job. She was hired to a new place that did pre-employment drug testing, she was very excited about it and was willing to do anything to pass that test.

  - I smoke every day, or every night I should say, before I go to bed. And I have no idea if they going to give a urine test or a swab test. I think they do both, or either… I’m not sure.

  - How much time do you have before the test?
  - About a week or so. I don’t have to go right away, I’ve got at least a week of training.

  - All right, since you do have time, start taking capsules to lower your toxin level, and then on your test day take a fast detox kit and that will conceal the remains of the toxins in your urine; and in case it is a swab test, you can use toxin-cleansing mouthwash right before you go in, and that will take care of it.

  - That sounds great! Do I have to stop smoking meanwhile?

  - Yes, absolutely! You cannot clean your body and contaminate it at the same time.

  That was that; she placed the order, I made sure that all the instructions are clear, and didn’t think that I would hear again from her. Three or four weeks later we received a package back from her, containing just a mouthwash. When we contacted to confirm that she wants to return it for a refund, we found out that she didn’t go to her test at all:

  - Yeah, I was taking the capsules, and everything was good, but couple days before the test I got so nervous that I had to smoke… and then the day after that I smoked too. So when my test day came, I tested myself after the drink and I failed. I couldn’t reschedule the test, so I just called in and refused the position. … I know, I should’ve stayed quit, but I just couldn’t help myself.

  There was nothing else to say, we understood each other – she made her choices, but unfortunately it was too late for us to help.

• It’s so hard to remember

  Posted on November 25th, 2009 How to pass

  At this job, we get all sorts of funny, crazy and sometimes weird phone calls. Since we sell products for people to pass drug tests, we deal with a lot of people who do drugs. One time I received a phone call from a lady who was so extremely intoxicated; she forgot everything about her self.

  “Hello, How can I help you?”

  “Is this Detox?”

  “Yes Mam, It is. How can I help you?”

  As she started speaking, she was slurring her words.

  “ Uh, I need to pass a urine test for Xanax.”

  Now I understood why she was speaking so slowly.

  We went through the basic questions: when is the test, how heavy of a user she is, how much she weighs and so on. She took my advice on the kit I recommend and it was time to take her order. Oh man I thought to myself, this should be interesting and somewhat funny.

  “ Ok, what is your name?”

  “My name? Oh umm, my name is… wait… hold on, uh let me look on my card.”

  Wow is this going to take a while, if she cannot even remember her own name.

  “It’s *** ***.”

  In my whole experience working here I have never heard of someone forgetting his or her name and speaking so slow.

  “Ok, next question, what is your address?”

  “Uh, 2345 no wait… 5432, no that’s not it. Oh, 4352… No… let me go outside and check. Hold on!”

  I was in complete total shock, I’ve heard that Xanax makes you forget things, but I would never think such a highly intoxicated person, who could hardly talk would call anywhere.

  It took about 5 minutes for her to go outside and look at her address. I was really afraid to ask her for her phone number. It was all kind of funny to me. Where would she go look for her phone number? She would probably hang up on me and try to call herself!!! Hah!! I couldn’t help but laugh.

  She went through her cell phone and found her house phone number saved in the phonebook. The rest of the process wasn’t that difficult because she was reading off a credit card, but the numbers were coming out so slow that I could have ran to the bathroom and came before she would have given me the next digit.

  I finally processed her order and thought to myself, she’s going to receive this product tomorrow and not even remember placing the order.
  That’s exactly what happened. She called us the next day asking what the heck we sent her. I picked up the phone and started cracking up. I couldn’t help it. I explained everything, she said “Thank You”, and that was it.

• More information on urine test.

  Posted on November 24th, 2009 How to pass

  There is a lot of information out there on how to pass a drug test.

  Many companies require employees or job candidates to provide urine, blood, saliva, or hair sample that are sent to the labs and tested there for presence of illegal drugs.

  A urine drug test is the most common test. Usually two ounces is sufficient enough for one sample. The labs prefer to collect the first urine of the day (morning urine), since it will have more potential toxins, but if you want to successfully pass your test, try to avoid that.

  When an employer requests a drug test, the employee needs to go to a collection site. Some labs are more relaxed than others about how they collect your urine sample: some give you a cup, show you where is the bathroom, and please give them some pee. Others might escort or observe you while you are peeing into a cup. You need to know beforehand just how closely you’re going to be observed, so you can choose a product right for your situation.

  There is probably not going to be anything in the bathroom except for the toilet, not even a sink. Often the water in the toilet will be dyed blue, so you can’t use that water to dilute your specimen right in the cup.

  As soon as you’re done providing your sample, technician will test the temperature right away, and if the sample is colder that required (less than 92 degrees), it is an automatic fail. If you passed the temperature test, you’re done for the day.

  A standard urinalysis consists of different stages:

  - physical examination (tested: color, specific gravity, clarity, concentration);

  - chemical examination (sample tested for specific illegal drugs of interest);

  - microscopic examination (identifies cells, casts and other components such as mucous and batteries).

  Color. Many things affect urine color, including fluid balance, diet, medicines, and diseases. How dark or light the color is tells you how much water is in it. Some medicines, blackberries, beets, rhubarb, or blood in the urine can turn urine red-brown.

  Specific gravity. This checks the amount of substances in the urine. It also shows how well the kidneys balance the amount of water in urine. The higher the specific gravity, the more solid material is in the urine. When you drink a lot of fluid, your kidneys make urine with a high amount of water in it, which has a low specific gravity. When you do not drink fluids, your kidneys make urine with a small amount of water in it, which has a high specific gravity.

  Clarity. Urine is normally clear. Bacteria, blood, crystals, or mucus can make urine look cloudy.

  Depending on the lab, they either may do the initial dip test right there and then, and you will have your results before you leave; or you have to wait 24-48 hours before you know it, and in some cases they inform your employer first.

  And in rare cases it’s just a “no news is good news” situation. If your results are negative maybe no one will tell you. In that case you either have to risk looking suspicious by asking, or just wait some time and assume that it was negative if no one called you for a couple weeks. But if it’s positive, you’ll almost always know within a day or two.

• Did I pass?

  Posted on November 23rd, 2009 How to pass

  I absolutely adore those customers who call us after they have already taken their test.

  They call to make sure they passed their test. They all have the same story of how worried they are and they need an answer from me to make them feel better. One phone call I remember went something like this:

  “Good afternoon, MB Detox, how can I help you?”

  “Uhhh, so I woke up at 7am like the directions told me to, I ate a very light meal, not a big one, but just a couple bites of cereal. I started to drink the water at 8am; I waited 20 minutes and drank the drink very slowly. It was kind of thick and nasty, that’s why it took me a while to drink, then I walked around a little…”

  I interrupt and say: “Sir, you do not need to be telling me this. Better yet, tell me why you are calling? What is your question?”

  He says: “But, I want to make sure I passed my test. So, I waited another 20 minutes, I went pee 4 times.”

  So, he can’t stop to telling me what he did in the morning.

  “Sir, why are you calling us if you already took your test?”

  “Well, I want you to tell me I passed. I’m so stressed out and worried, this test is SO important to me, everything is based on this test. So, you think I passed?”

  “It all depends on how heavy of a user you were, if you chose the right product and if you followed the directions, then you should be fine.”

  “Should be fine? I need an answer! Do you think I passed? I ordered the product that matched to my weight and usage, so I passed? Come on, I’m sure you get a lot of people that ask you this. Do you think I passed? I know you can tell me if I passed or not. Your products are guaranteed, so that means I passed right? Please, tell me.”

  “Our products are manufactures guaranteed and if you followed the directions, then you should be fine sir. I’m sorry, but I cannot tell you if you passed your test or not.”

  “But what do you think? You think I have a better chance of passing? Do you think I could have passed?”

  He keeps going and going, explaining to me how he drank the drink, how he was sitting next to the bathroom waiting to pee, how he was forcing himself to piss, how much he peed every time, and even the color of his pee. I can imagine him running around his house trying to pee.

  I interrupted him again and said: “I’m sorry Sir, I can not read the future and you are just going to have to wait to get you results.”

  The customer promised to call us and let us know the results of his test.

• Little things can go wrong.

  Posted on November 20th, 2009 How to pass

  How to pass a urine test? This question raises heated discussions and has a variety of solutions. One of them would be – synthetic urine. Simple and easy to use for some, it raises doubt and confusion in others. Just the other day I had this conversation:

  -         I had my test today, and I have a question about the synthetic urine.

  -         Ok, what do you need to know?

  -         How do I use it? I already had me test, so it’s probably not going to make a difference, but just for a piece of mind…

  -         You need to preheat it so the temperature strip shows the range between 90 and 100 degrees, and present it instead of your own sample.

  -         Yes, that’s what I did. I think… Where do I pour it?

  -         You would pour it out into the specimen cup.

  -         Not into the toilet???

  -         No; if they ask you not to flush it only means that they need to see how much you urinated to make sure it was your own sample, but they don’t actually test the urine in the toilet.

  -         Oh, man… I did it all wrong… Am I seriously screwed?

  -         What exactly did you do?

  -         When I saw that sign “Do not flush” above the toilet, I panicked – what if they check it in there too? So I poured some synthetic urine into the toilet, and some into the cup, but it didn’t seem like enough of a sample so I peed into the cup, too, just to add more volume… Is that bad? Will I fail?

  -         Mixing your own urine with synthetic is not such a good idea – the lab will be able to see toxins in the sample. Sorry…

  -         … Oh, well… I guess I should’ve known better… Thanks anyway…

  Sometimes it is hard to predict every little thing that will come in the way. In this particular situation it would be beneficial to have a 4 oz bottle of synthetic urine, so you would definitely have enough for a sample.

• My Crazy Friend

  Posted on November 19th, 2009 How to pass

  Ok, so I have this funny weird random story that I would like to share with people.

  I have this friend; she’s awesome, a little crazy, but an awesome person. Anyways, the story:

  She’s on probation so she has to take a urine test every month. She’s a pretty heavy marijuana smoker and can’t pass the test with her own urine. She does not believe in using Detox products. One day she asked her younger sister for some clean piss. Since they watch her from the back and search her, she wanted to figure out a way to carry in the clean piss. You guys ever seen the Mini M&M containers? Well, what she did is fill up the container with her sister pee. She then took it and stuck it up her hooha, if you know what I mean!!! That’s insane right? How could she walk with it? She was planning on getting there, opening the cap and letting it flow out. Well, as great as this idea sounded to her, it failed. As she was walking out of the house, the cap had opened and of course she looked like she pissed herself. I wish I were there to see that site. It had to of looked funny!! She was lucky it happened before she had left instead of when she got there. She called me right away and told me. She was panicking because she didn’t know what to do. Since I work at this company I got her a bottle of synthetic urine. She used it a passed her test.

  I went over her house later on that day. We went over the story and both of us were cracking up for hours.

  Now she’s done trying crazy ways of passing and uses synthetic urine every time.