Category: How to pass

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• Need it fast!

  Posted on November 18th, 2009 How to pass

  People are full of surprises, and every once in a while we get a phone call that goes something like this:

  “Hi, I need to pass a drug test, please help!”

  “Ok, what are the toxins of concern, what type of testing is it, when is it scheduled for?”

  Well, a friend of mine gave me some Percocets last night and I smoke pot every now and then… not too often.”

  “When was the last time you smoked?”

  “This passed weekend, so 3 days ago.”

  “And do you now what type of test is it going to be?”

  “Oh! It’s urinalysis. I have to go tonight.”

  “Well, you definitely need a detox kit to help you pass that test, but we can help you only if you can reschedule…”

  “Oh… I can’t get it by tonight? I have to take the test in six hours!”

  “Unfortunately, the earliest we can deliver to you would be tomorrow morning, not tonight.”

  “But on your site it says “same day shipping!!!”

  “Exactly, we can ship it today, but you will receive it tomorrow!”

  And then he just hangs up.

  If it is a scheduled test that you need to pass, make sure that you get prepared in advance. It is good to have a product at least for a day before the test; this way there’s no rush and always time to go over instructions once again if something is unclear.

• The things people do to pass drug tests

  Posted on November 17th, 2009 How to pass

  People do some crazy thing to pass a drug test, whether these options are safe or not. No one cares as long as they pass their test. A question I get asked a lot is about Niacin. I always explain that it may help or it may not. Who knows??

  One situation I remember:

  A customer calls me asking if I think he will pass a urine test with Niacin.
  I explain to him that Niacin is made for your blood and I would not recommend taking it without a doctor’s approval. The customer asks about our products, said he was a heavy user of THC. I suggested some of our products, told him my name and told him to ask for me when he calls back.

  Four days later we get a phone call:
  “Hi, can I speak to ****.”

  “This is her, how can I help you?”

  “Well, I took the Niacin pills, now I look like a tomato!!! OMG!!! My skin turned red and spotted at first and now its getting worse and worse. What am I supposed to do? I have a test in one hour. They cannot see me like this. Am I having an allergic reaction??? Help me!!!”

  I told him to calm down and that he was not having an allergic reaction.

  “Sir, you are having a Niacin flush. It happens to some people when they take these pills. No matter how many pills you take your skin can turn red, itchy and get blotches. I’m assuming you took a large amount if you look like a tomato. There is nothing wrong with you, so stop worrying.”

  “Really? Ok… I hope it will go away. Then… I will reschedule my test for tomorrow. And I think… I need some of your products.”

  So, now his test was tomorrow. He took my advice for the products I recommended and paid for overnight shipping.

  A week later, I get another phone call from him.

  “Hey, Thanks a lot for your help! You did an awesome job and I passed my test! My experience taught me well!”

  ….
  Good experience for everybody. Now, when someone calls and asks about Niacin, we briefly tell them this story. Sometimes they listen… Sometimes they don’t.

• You can never know, until you ask…

  Posted on November 16th, 2009 How to pass

  A couple days ago a gentleman called in an order. He was an occasional smoker and needed a detox drink to pass his test. He had taken one before and it made him pass, so he was quite confident that he would pass this time, too.

  “Yeah, I took it the last time, and followed all the instructions, and went to the bathroom like five times, and I passed! So, I want the same thing.”

  It was clear that the customer knew how to use the product and was certain of the results he should expect, but it is a standard procedure just to say it out loud once again, this way we are sure to be on the same page.

  “Consume it approximately two hours before your test, urinate several times and your urine will be free of toxins for the next 3-5 hours. Also, make sure that you stay away from any kind of toxins for at least 48 hours before the test day, including second hand smoke.”

  “ Oh, yeah, I know. But actually, it is for a saliva test. Last time I thought it was going to be urine, like they do usually, but when I showed up there they said they changed it to a saliva test! Thank God I was prepared!”

  “Sir, detox drinks do not work for saliva testing. How long have you been clean before the test day last time?”

  “For about a week. But that drink made me pass last time! I’m pretty sure that was the drink! What do you mean – it doesn’t work for urine???”

  “Sir, any drinks are meant to help you with a urine test, not a saliva test. For the latter there is a toxin-cleansing mouthwash, or effervescent tablets if you’re not sure which one of the two you’re going to have. When is your next test?

  “… Tomorrow afternoon…”

  “And when was the last time you smoked?”

  “Eghh …last night…”

  His confidence seemed to be disappearing by the minute.

  “Ok, what made you pass your test last time wasn’t the drink but the time of abstaining. THC doesn’t stay in your saliva for too long, so only a recent use can be detected in this type of test. You’re going to have to use a toxin-cleansing mouthwash before your test tomorrow, and that’s going to make your saliva clean for the next thirty minutes.”

  “OK, I’ll get the mouthwash, but can I also have a drink, just in case? I will be more comfortable if I have that, even though it might not work for me.”

  “Fine, you can get both, but also, I’m going to give you a saliva testing device so you can test yourself at home before you go, ok?”

  We agreed on that.

  A couple days later I got a message that this gentleman called back saying that he had passed his test thanks to the mouthwash, and was happy that he could test himself after he took a drink just to make sure that it is the wrong product for him.

• Cocaine Abuse and Heart Issues

  Posted on November 13th, 2009 How to pass

  Recent studies done in Spain showed that over three per cent of all sudden deaths are related to the use of cocaine. Forensic pathologists suppose that their study can also relate to other sudden deaths in Europe, showing that cocaine use is widely spread all over the continent. This health problem is a really a point of concern since there is no “recreational use” or “safe amount” that can save a person from any kind of complications, and since over 30 million Americans are believed to have tried this illegal substance ever in their lives, and estimated 5 million are regular users. An important public health issue like this needs to be brought to attention in hope that it will lower the number of regular users and prevent first-time users from making a habit out of it.

  Studies done back in 1999 showed that during the first hours after using cocaine the risk of getting a heart attack increases almost 25 times in people with healthy heart. Cocaine intake causes adverse changes to the heart and arteries that then can lead to sudden death. The different ways in which cocaine influences the heart are:

  a)      Can cause high blood pressure, heart rate and contractions.

  b)      Constricts coronary arteries that feed blood to the heart causing an obstruction in the blood flow.

  Smoking and alcohol consumption are also related to heart issues. According to research results, cocaine use is often accompanied by alcohol and tobacco use. The combination of these substances is considered a lethal cocktail that promotes the development of premature heart disease.

  Scientists in Spain agreed to perform post-mortem toxicological examinations in every sudden death case to confirm or eliminate the possibility of cocaine use. This will make possible to monitor the relationship between the consumption of this particular illegal substance and sudden deaths caused by a heart failure.

• What’s inside?

  Posted on November 12th, 2009 How to pass

  Detoxification is not easy, for some people getting clean turns out to be more difficult than for others.

  Recently we received a call from a lady who was really concerned with the ingredients in a product. She needed to completely clean out her body, but wanted to know what she will be cleaning it with. All of the “healthy pills” scared her; it seemed like she could not take anything that would make her healthy because it would make her sick first. She was very polite, but also very insistent:

  “I need to be clean from COC, THC, PCP and Valium for urine insurance test. Can you please read out what exactly is in this product? I have allergies and need to know what’s inside before I take anything.”

  Wow, many drugs and a lot of allergies?

  “There are a lot of herbal supplements. What are you allergic to?”

  “Many things; I need to know all the ingredients in this product, please.”

  Unfortunately, we do not have the products handy, so to read out the entire list we need to go down to the shipping department and get a sample. Normally, you won’t stay on hold for more than a minute unless you really need it.

  I came back with a box and starter from the top.

  “Milk Thistle, Green Tea, Echinacea Extract, Turmeric Root… These supplements make your liver and kidneys work better so you detoxify faster.”

  Once I was done, the lady said the following, with the big sign of relief:

  “Oh, good! That’s the one I want! I am terribly allergic to soy, which is not included in this program. Can I have two boxes please?”

  …

  It’s interesting how one body can digest different toxins, but has a reaction to healthy product…

• Better late then never…

  Posted on November 11th, 2009 How to pass

  A while back I had a customer call me. His test was tomorrow at 2pm and he needed a kit overnight, which would get to him by 10:30am. I checked his zip code and assured him UPS guarantees it there by 10:30. He was happy because he did not think he could get it in time. I went on with my day.

  Tomorrow came. I am sitting at work. I look at the time it is 10:25. The phone rings. It is the same customer from yesterday. He starts panicking.

  I ask him “what’s wrong?”

  “UPS did not knock on my door!!! I opened my door 2 minutes ago and saw a notice from them. They tried to deliver my package but they did not even knock on my door. This can not be happening, I need that package!!!”

  “ Ok sir, I will call UPS and see if the driver can come back.”

  So, I call UPS and ask them if the driver can come back. The lady from UPS says she will contact the driver and he should be back soon because he did not have time to leave the area. I tell her to make sure he knocks on the door.

  I call the customer back, “Sir, the driver will be back soon to deliver your package.”

  Customer replies “ Ok I will wait for him.”

  15 minutes later, the phone rings again. It’s the same customer screaming his head off.

  “ This cannot be happening!!! I went outside to wait for the driver and it started pouring rain!!! I decided to come back in, keep my door open and wait. I just woke up 5 minutes before I called you the first time and I did not even have time to pee. I needed to pee so badly, but just wouldn’t let myself. Then I felt like my bladder was going to explode. So, I ran to pee and guess what?? The fan in my bathroom did not let me hear the driver knock on my door!!!! I ran to the door to see another sticky note saying 2nd delivery attempt was made!!!! What am I supposed to do now????”

  “Wow” I said, “ This does not happen to many people. You need to call and reschedule your test for tomorrow so UPS can deliver it again tomorrow.”

  “ I can not wait until tomorrow, what if something like this happens again?”

  “You need to call UPS and see when you can pick up the package.”

  Customer called UPS and picked up his package at 6:30pm that night. He rescheduled his test, took it and passed.

  He is now a retuning customer and every time he orders something, he’s afraid to go the bathroom until he receives the package.

• No such thing as a Miracle!!!

  Posted on November 9th, 2009 How to pass

  As I am driving to work on a Thursday afternoon, I am thinking to myself “ What a great day it is today? Sunny and beautiful, got to sleep late, starting work at 2 pm.”

  I come and switch shifts with a co-worker. As she’s leaving I ask her if it was busy in the morning. “Nope” – She replies. “Great!!!” – I say sarcastically, another fun filled day with different questions. I finally sit at my computer and log into my name.
  The phone rings. It’s a gentleman with a very deep voice, talking very slow.
  “ MB health. How can I help you?”
  “ Umm, I have a piss test I need to pass”.
  Great!!! The same thing they all say. After going through the routine questions – what and how often do you use, type of test, body mass, etc, I suggested a product he should use and needed to purchase. I explained the product in more detail and told the customer since his test is in 2 days, he needs to stop smoke marijuana for these 2 days and drink tons of water.
  “WHAT!!”- He screamed. His voice didn’t seem so slow anymore.
  “Sir, with all of our products, we recommend not to smoke marijuana for at least 48 hours.”
  “Not Smoke??? I don’t know what that means! I’ve been smoking pot for 12 years and I don’t plan on stopping!”
  “Well, I can’t be so sure that you will pass your test if you continue to smoke.”
  Now he really opens his mouth: “These products are 100% money back guaranteed, I’m smoking a blunt right now and I’m going to smoke later on tonight and tomorrow. I don’t plan on stopping and your product better make me pass my test.”
  He continues to yell and scream at me as if I created this product and I didn’t make it a miracle for him to pass his test.
  I raised my voice and bluntly said: “Sir, if you aren’t going to listen to me and take my advice, there is nothing I can do to help you. You yelling and it is not going to solve your problem.”
  He placed the order with me, probably thinking, “this lady doesn’t know anything, I’m still going to pass.” He hung up the phone. One customer, who did not want to listen, ruined my beautiful day.
  A week later I receive a phone call from the same guy. He failed his test. I asked him if he had stopped smoking and he said “no”. He smoked on the morning of his test. So, what is the reason he was calling? He wanted to apologize for screaming. He had a friend who was in the same situation as he is. He stopped smoking 3 days before the test and passed. His sorry made me feel so much better.

• Don’t worry about…

  Posted on November 5th, 2009 How to pass

  People are pretty cautious when ordering on-line or over the phone. With all the identity theft and fraudulent activities you have to be careful how to use your card. Giving away private information left and right might get you in big trouble. However, some info is necessary to complete an on-line order.

  One time I got a call from a lady, who needed a recommendation on how to pass a urine test. In the variety of products you better make sure that you’re getting a right one. Standard questions were asked, a product recommended, now we got to the ordering part. We need to take all the information step by step.

  First, customer refused to give me her name.

  - “What do you need my name for?”

  - “Well, whom do I send the product to? Jane Doe doesn’t work, because the delivery person will be looking for the real person with this name, and if some problems are to occur during a delivery, they will need a proper ID to release the package.”

  OK, we got the name.

  - “Address? Why do we need my address?”

  - “So we would know where to ship it. There are fifty states with tons of cities and millions of streets, or do you want just anybody to get the product that you paid for?”

  - “Phone number? I don’t want you calling me!”

  - “Again, we need to be able to get in contact with the customer in case any issue come up. “

  - “Card number? Sure, no problem! It is …”

  Dragging out information from a customer is not easy, but trying to get their trust – even more difficult.

  After she received her package and successfully passed her test, the customer called back thanking us and apologizing for giving us a hard time.

• An unthinkable question

  Posted on November 4th, 2009 How to pass

  A while back, can’t really remember what day it was. All I know is that it was pretty busy; a man calls to inquire if it is ok for him to drink bleach to pass a urine test. The first general reaction was: “Is this man crazy?? Who in their right mind would drink bleach?” Told him not to drink the bleach because he will end up getting sick from it or even possibly may die!! He did not believe me, or he just did not want to listen to me. He tired to call our company over and over. OMG, he called so many times that he had spoken to ALL of our representatives and gave them a hard time. We all told him the same thing. “Sir, it is not safe to drink bleach, the consequences can not be good.” He just could not believe us. He needed to pass his test and he thought this was the only way he can pass. Next 20 min were very busy; when he called back all of our phone lines were busy, so that call was automatically transferred to the shipping department. The shipper picked up the phone. He asked her the same question, she spoke to him for 10 minutes trying to explain the same thing we all did and then she bluntly said, “Sir do you really want to drink something that you clean your toilet with?” We all started cracking up. “Think about how the bleach destroys the germs, that’s exactly how it will destroy your stomach. You can die!!”
  Maybe this example actually processed through his head.
  Now with this experience we have a great comparison to tell our customers.

• A case of the Mondays

  Posted on November 3rd, 2009 How to pass

  It was 9 a.m. and I could hear the phone ringing through the door. I hadn’t even stepped into the office yet. I had a pretty good idea of what was waiting for me on the other side. That early in the morning there are only 3 possibilities.

  The first is a frightened caller who is going to beg for helps passing a drug test. They’ll tell me that they’ve been calling all morning, that they’re a real good person, that they never use drugs, and it was just that once. Their test will be in 4 or 5 hours and their ‘just once’ moment will have been within the last 24 hours. If I talk to them for more than 10 minutes, they’ll finally admit that it wasn’t just once. I’ll tell them that there’s not much I can do, but they won’t listen.

  The second possibility is a stoner wake up call. Those are usually pretty fun (if not annoying). Some high guy or girl calls and describes what they’re eating for breakfast. Occasionally you’ll have a group of friends laughing in the background. If they’re not rude it can be a good way to start the day. Eventually you’ve got to hang up on them though… and pray they don’t keep calling back.

  The third is the worst: an unhappy customer. It doesn’t matter what happened or whose fault it really is. If someone calls at 9 a.m. with a problem, that means they’re furious.
  
  I unlocked the office door, stepped in, and hoped for the best. While reaching for the phone I already knew what kind of call it would be. I picked up and clenched my teeth while saying the standard greeting. Before I finished, “How may I help you” the screaming began; one long, never-ending question mixed with complaints:

  “What company is this and why did you charge my credit card! I never ordered anything from you! I’m going to call the credit card company if you don’t refund my money right now. Where did you get my credit information!”

  Monday mornings never let me down. This kind of call is pretty normal so I respond with the usual: “Miss, let me just get your information so I can look up” – and the screaming continues. Without fail, the caller interrupts and turns what would be a simple explanation into a long painful interrogation. I try to be subtle.

  “Miss, you probably ordered some natural dietary supplements from us…”

  Subtle never works.

  “I did NOT order dietary supplements! I take vitamins and that’s it! There’s no way…”

  Miss – my turn to cut her off – “Think back a few weeks, did you order anything online or over the phone?”

  Like all angry customers, she continues complaining, and refuses to give her information so I can actually look up her order. I start typing her caller ID info into the system and hope that she registered with the same name or phone number. Luckily, I see one recent sale with her last name attached.

  “Is this Miss (sorry, no names)”

  I made a mistake asking her that. I do it all the time, but I always forget.

  “How do you know my name?! How do you have my information!”

  I explained that we have caller ID and finally she stopped screaming for the first time since I picked up.

  “Oh.”

  “Now, Miss (no names) you placed an order with use 2 weeks ago on the 14th. We shipped it on the 15th and you signed for it on the 17th.”

  “What are you talking about! I didn’t place any orders with anyone. I want my credit card refunded NOW!”

  At that point she started involving her husband. Between yelling at me she complains to him. He offers to take the phone and ‘fix it’.

  He is just like his wife, but louder. He also curses a bit more. After his first string of curses I decide its time I end the call. Looking at the order I see two THC detox kits, one small and one large. Now I just need to wait for a chance to speak.

  “So, are you going to refund my money or do I have to report you to the credit bureau!”

  With no subtle option left, I do what I have to do.

  “So, did you pass your drug test? You and your wife?”

  “What drug test? What…”

  Before repeating himself he checks his voice and begins to speak quietly.

  “What drug test?”

  “Sir, your wife ordered two marijuana detox kits for standard urine tests. Did you guys pass?”

  “OH!”

  He’s screaming again, but now he sounds much nicer about it.

  “That’s what this is. Yea… Yea, we passed. Thanks a lot!”

  Now his wife speaks up in the background,

  “Yeah! We passed, thanks a lot!”

  “You’re welcome, have a good day. And I hung up.”

  After that I checked my watch. It was 9:20. Mondays.