I absolutely adore those customers who call us after they have already taken their test.

They call to make sure they passed their test. They all have the same story of how worried they are and they need an answer from me to make them feel better. One phone call I remember went something like this:

“Good afternoon, MB Detox, how can I help you?”

“Uhhh, so I woke up at 7am like the directions told me to, I ate a very light meal, not a big one, but just a couple bites of cereal. I started to drink the water at 8am; I waited 20 minutes and drank the drink very slowly. It was kind of thick and nasty, that’s why it took me a while to drink, then I walked around a little…”

I interrupt and say: “Sir, you do not need to be telling me this. Better yet, tell me why you are calling? What is your question?”

He says: “But, I want to make sure I passed my test. So, I waited another 20 minutes, I went pee 4 times.”

So, he can’t stop to telling me what he did in the morning.

“Sir, why are you calling us if you already took your test?”

“Well, I want you to tell me I passed. I’m so stressed out and worried, this test is SO important to me, everything is based on this test. So, you think I passed?”

“It all depends on how heavy of a user you were, if you chose the right product and if you followed the directions, then you should be fine.”

“Should be fine? I need an answer! Do you think I passed? I ordered the product that matched to my weight and usage, so I passed? Come on, I’m sure you get a lot of people that ask you this. Do you think I passed? I know you can tell me if I passed or not. Your products are guaranteed, so that means I passed right? Please, tell me.”

“Our products are manufactures guaranteed and if you followed the directions, then you should be fine sir. I’m sorry, but I cannot tell you if you passed your test or not.”

“But what do you think? You think I have a better chance of passing? Do you think I could have passed?”

He keeps going and going, explaining to me how he drank the drink, how he was sitting next to the bathroom waiting to pee, how he was forcing himself to piss, how much he peed every time, and even the color of his pee. I can imagine him running around his house trying to pee.

I interrupted him again and said: “I’m sorry Sir, I can not read the future and you are just going to have to wait to get you results.”

The customer promised to call us and let us know the results of his test.