Category: How to pass

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• An uncontrollable situation

  Posted on December 21st, 2009 How to pass

  Every winter we get a lot of phone calls. These phone calls are from angry customers whose packages arrive late. We calmly explain to them that these packages are late due to weather conditions. Some customers are very understandable, and some are not. Last winter I received a phone call:

  “MB Detox, how can I help you?”

  “I ordered a package yesterday for overnight shipping and it was supposed to be here at 10:30am. It’s already 11am and it’s not here”

  “Can I have your last name?”

  “****”
  I tracked his package and saw that the package is late due to weather conditions.

  “Sir, is it snowing in your area?”

  “Yes!”

  “Is there a lot of snow?”

  “Yep, about 8 inches.”

  “Ok, well your package is late because of weather conditions. UPS cannot deliver your package because of the snow and delivery is rescheduled for tomorrow.”

  “What? I need my package today! I do not care about the weather! I paid for overnight shipping and I want my package!”

  “I am sorry, but unfortunately there is nothing we can do.”

  “What do you mean there is nothing you can do? I want my package TODAY! If I do not get my package today, I want a full refund for everything including the shipping.”

  He kept yelling at me like it was my fault that he did not receive the package. I had nothing else to say to him, but he kept screaming.

  Finally I raised my voice and said: “Sir, do I control the weather? Or do you control the weather? Or does UPS control the weather?”

  He became quiet.

  “That’s exactly my point. We cannot control what happens with the weather, so unfortunately we cannot give you any type of refund.”

  “Ok, Thank You!”

  In our lives we cannot control everything. This is a prime example of something uncontrollable. Unfortunately, we come across this problem every season when there is bad weather.

• Department of Defense drug tests

  Posted on December 18th, 2009 How to pass

  Random tests are pain in the neck, but what can be worse than a random test in the Army? By regulation, each military member must be tested at least once a year. New recruits are required to undergo urinalysis when enlisting – medical testing is accomplished in compliance with any specific requirements. The Defense Department is desires more frequent random testing of active duty military, reservists and civilian employees.
  Navy sailors get drug tested 3 times a year, on average.
  If a commander has probable cause that certain soldier is under the influence of drugs, after the issue of “military search warrant” urinalysis can be performed to confirm or refute the probable cause. Soldiers cannot decline to provide a urine sample that has been authorized by a military search warrant.

  If a commander does not have probable cause, he/she can ask the soldier for “consent to search.” If a soldier refuses to grant consent, and if the commander does not have enough evidence to warrant a probable-cause search warrant, the commander may order the soldier to give a urine sample anyway.

  At the lab, samples go through immunoassay screening. If a sample tests positive for the presence of drugs, they perform a second screening. And if a sample comes up positive during two screening tests, they perform a more specific GC/MS test (gas chromatography/mass spectrometry). This test can identify specific substances within the urine samples.

  Department of Defense labs can check for:
  Marijuana,
  Cocaine,
  Amphetamines,
  LSD,
  Opiates (morphine and heroin),
  Barbiturates,
  PCP.

  Commanders can request samples to be tested for steroids. In this case, the samples are sent to the Olympic testing laboratory at the University of California at Los Angeles.
  As we can see, in the military they can test you when they want, wherever the want, and one doesn’t really have a choice, since a refusal would only raise a suspicion and lead to obligatory test anyway. To be fully prepared for a test like that, make sure to get some at home test kits. You can either clean your system with the help of permanent cleansers (detox kits) or urine additives – they work fast and need almost no preparation.

• Oh soo cold!

  Posted on December 17th, 2009 How to pass

  Since it’s getting colder out and winter is almost here, I remembered a story. Last winter, a customer called and placed an order with me over the phone. She said that she really needed her package to arrive tomorrow, so she picked overnight shipping. The package was delivered on time.

  About a week after the order was placed I received a phone call:

  “MB Detox, How can I help you?”

  “I ordered from you last week, I got the package, the bottle exploded and everything inside the package is wet!”

  “I am really sorry Mam, I remember you ordered with me and got overnight shipping. You received your package on time. So why are you calling us 4 days later with this complaint?”

  “Well because I received the package the next day and saw it laying on my porch. I just left it there for a couple days.”

  “Mam, how cold is it where you live?”

  “Um, about 34 degrees, during the day and 20 degrees at night.”

  “And the product you ordered was liquid?”

  “Yes. Oh and I forgot to tell you, when I opened it, it was kind of slushy like it may have frozen or something.”

  OK, now people normally know that when something freezes it can expand. In this case the liquid froze, the bottle expanded, the seal broke, the liquid some what unfroze and leaked all over the inside if the package.

  I explained this to the customer.

  “Unfortunately there is nothing we can do about this package. It was delivered on time and in perfect condition. Next time you will know not to leave liquid out in such cold weather.”

  After all this information, the customer told me that her refrigerator was not working. She left the product outside in the cold because she thought it was supposed to be refrigerated!!

• Blood test – all there is to know

  Posted on December 15th, 2009 How to pass

  Blood tests are not very common method of testing for drugs – many blood tests specifically focus on diagnosing an illness or identifying a disease.

  In some situations, including accidents and employment testing, blood tests may be used. Life insurance testing includes blood screening, as well as urine, – in a blood sample they can detect a disease in a person who may show no symptoms of it. These screening tests give everything there is to know about a person’s health and health history, including eating habits, consumption of medicine or illegal substances, etc. Insurance companies look for any subtle reason why a person would cost them money in the future.

  Blood tests are a much better measure of recent impairment than urine tests – they detect the actual presence of THC in the system; however, they can be sensitive to other metabolites as well. Blood tests generally register positive after just a few hours after smoking marijuana.

  Blood tests are rarely used because it is one of the most expensive methods of testing, and also considered to be the most intrusive. However, it is also the most accurate, since there is no way for a person to alter the sample – you cannot dilute your blood or add any adulterants, can’t cover up the toxins, etc.

  From the viewpoint of collection, blood specimens are easier to obtain – if a urine specimen cannot be acquired, the lab can easily take a blood specimen. Besides, for the users who want to avoid positive results the latter is more desirable. In fact, an individual undergoing a blood drug test can use the detoxifying products (detox pills), which have been proven to be sufficient enough in achieving successful test results.

  Positive result on a test may be obtained by second-hand smoking – presence in a closed room with people who smoke marijuana; consumption on non-psychoactive substances such as hemp-seed bars; consumption of milk from cattle grazing on wild cannabis, etc.

  Regard this matter as a serious issue and make sure to prepare for a blood test properly.

• The returing package

  Posted on December 14th, 2009 How to pass

  What’s the point of ordering a product if you cannot sign for it?
  One story I remember was a customer calling. He was really worried and freaked out that he had a drug test in 2 days. He didn’t want to take any advice from me and just ordered what he thought he needed. He was panicking and speaking incredibly fast. The customer ordered at least 5 different items and kept telling me how badly he needs it shipped overnight. He asked me to check what time he will receive it tomorrow and am I guaranteeing it will be there on time. I explained to him that UPS guarantees the package to be there by a certain time. I was even kind of worried that the package may be lost or late because the customer really seems like he needed it. I placed the order and we shipped out the package.

  2 weeks later we received a package back. I opened the package and could not believe my eyes. It was the same package the customer so desperately needed. It came back to us because UPS made 3 delivery attempts and the customer could not sign for the package. I called the customer and he answered the phone. I explained to him that the package returned to us. He stated he still needed it very badly and wants us to ship it overnight again. I didn’t even have a chance to ask him if he rescheduled his test.

  Another 2 weeks passes and again we receive a package. I open the package and again it’s the same package that came back to us. The customer could not sign for the package again!! I called him up again he said: “Please ship it again, I’m really sorry I will sign for it. I really need it. Please send it to me.” He paid for overnight shipping again and we shipped it out.

  2 weeks later we received the same package. This time I was just shocked. The customer paid money and could not sign for the package or pick it up from the location. I called him again, he answered. This time he said: “Oh… yeah that package. I cannot sign for it so please do not send it to me again.”

  I was really expecting him to pay for the shipping again, I was speechless and did not know what to say. It was pretty funny, every time I saw this package I thought: “Here we go again.”

• Saliva Testing.

  Posted on December 11th, 2009 How to pass

  Saliva is produced in and secreted from the salivary glands. Human saliva is composed of 98% water, while the other 2% consists of other compounds such as electrolytes, mucus, antibacterial compounds, and various enzymes.
  Oral/saliva drug tests can commonly reveal using drugs for the past several days. The process of drug testing is usually used by employers for random, pre-employment, return-to-duty, or reasonable suspicion testing. Saliva-based drug testing is closely connected with the results of blood drug testing and is usually preferred in use for post-accident cases or on-the-job illicit substance usage, as the level of intoxication is estimated according to the amount of drug.
  Saliva drug tests can act incontinently upon usage:
  THC: up to 24 hours
  COC: up to 2-3 days
  OPI: up to 2-3 days
  MET: up to 2-3 days
  BZO: up to 2-3 days
  Saliva (oral) drug tests are more accepted by people who overcome the testing, they are easy to process and don’t interfere with persons’ privacy. Saliva drug test samples can be collected anytime, anywhere and without the need for special collection facilities. Saliva drug testing is relating to screen if an individual has taken drug recently. You can receive the results incontinently after the procedure and don’t have to visit the lab. With the help of saliva drug test 8 (5 or 6 at once) different kinds of illegal substances can be screened (it depends on its kind).  Since each collection can be directly observed, the risk of adulterated samples and chain of custody issues are practically eliminated. This test is the most reliable and purposeful in detection of recent drug usage.

• Hair Test. Test Procedure.

  Posted on December 10th, 2009 How to pass

  As we mentioned earlier, a hair sample can be obtained from anywhere in the body. A qualified sample should be at least 1 – 1 ½ in length; if the hair on the head is shorter than that, a sample can be obtained from anywhere else on the body, so shorthaired people should be prepared – the procedure might be different. Also, trying to beat a test by shaving your hair bold will not work – hair from your chest, arms, underarms, stomach, back, legs, pubic area can be used as a sample, even from eyebrows in rare cases. On rare occasions, hair sample can be pulled out instead of being cut off, which is more painful and impossible to beat, as any Detox shampoo cannot penetrate deep into the scalp. Normally, hair on the body grows slower than the hair on the head, so the detection time for bodily hair can go as far back as a year.

  Dying or bleaching your hair also will not work, since the drug metabolites cannot be removed by simply changing the color of the hair. Bleaching or chemical washing will destroy the hair structure but will not rid of toxins since it can be done only by removing the hair itself. As we mentioned before, drug metabolites are deep inside of the hair, not on top of it. So, bleaching will make you fail, shaving hair off might get you in a bigger pickle.

  Detoxifying shampoo (hair cleanser) will penetrate deeper into the cortex and also will create organic layer around it, concealing toxins from inside and outside. Make sure to follow the instructions and submit a sample within several hours after applying it.

• 2 lines means?

  Posted on December 9th, 2009 How to pass

  Some customers are so worried about passing their test that they can literally call 10 times a day to make sure they will pass. Not to long ago I had a customer call.

  “MB Detox, how can I help you?”

  “Hi, my name is *** and I placed an order with you about a month ago. I ordered 2 7-day premium detox kits. I completed the first kit and am half way through the second one.”

  “Ok, good. So what can I help you with?”

  “I also got 2 dipsticks and tested myself. One of the lines is bright and the other one is a little lighter. Am I passing?”

  “Yes, you are passing. If you have 2 lines that means you are passing.”

  “Ok, Thank you!”

  Ten minutes later we get another call

  “MB Detox, how can I help you?”

  “Are you sure I am passing? Even if the other line is a little lighter, just a little lighter.”

  “Yes mam, you are passing. Even if the line was very faint you are still passing. As long as there are 2 visible lines, you are fine.”

  “Well… the line is not faint its almost the same color as the other one, so I’m fine right? How sure are you that I will pass? Are you really sure I will pass? Can there be something wrong with the test? Did I dip the stick in the right way? Maybe I dipped it in too much? Is that possible?”

  She kept repeating herself over and over. I was getting annoyed. I told her 10 times that she will pass, has nothing to worry about and if the tester is showing 2 lines she will be fine. I explained that dipstick has the same cut off level as most labs, and if she passing with it, then she will pass.

  “If you were to take a test in an hour, 5 hours or tomorrow, you would pass it!”

  “Tomorrow?! No… my test is not for another 2 weeks. And I still have half of the 7 day kit left.”

  I calmly said: “Mam, if you are passing now and still have 2 weeks left, then why are you so worried? The toxins cannot reenter your body themselves so you will be fine. Don’t worry!”

  “I just wanted to make sure, Thanks, Bye.”

• Hair test. Basic information.

  Posted on December 8th, 2009 How to pass

  When any substance is consumed (prescribed or illegal), it is processed in the body and the by-products – metabolites – penetrate into hair follicle with the blood stream. As the hair grows, these metabolites stay entrapped within the hair, and the strands contain a proportional amount of metabolites to the amount of toxins consumed.

  As the hair grows, these metabolites remain in the strands and cannot be removed without destroying the hair. Analysis not only can detect these metabolites, but also can provide information of quantity consumed together with the frequency of consumption. Every time the hair is cut, you discard the oldest part of your “history,” but the part that’s important for a lab is closer to the scalp.

  To obtain a sample for a test, hair is collected from different parts of the head; most hair testing labs use 1-1/2 inches of hair – that corresponds to 90 days of growth (head hair normally grows at about 1/2 inch per month). If there is not a sufficient amount that can be collected from a head, a sample can be obtained from any part of the body; depending on the rate at which your hair grows, body hair can give history of use for a period longer than 90 days.

  Generally, labs will test for:

  Cocaine,

  Marijuana,

  Opiates,

  Methamphetamine,

  Amphetamine,

  Phencyclidine (PCP).

• Who to Blame

  Posted on December 7th, 2009 How to pass

  If a customer is sure that their urine test and it is being sent out to a lab, then what better product to use then Urine Luck. It consists of 2 little vials that get poured into the urine and provide the customer with a clean urine sample.

  Not too long ago a customer called and was very angry.

  “Hello, How can I help you?”

  “What did you sell me? This sh*t does not work. I failed my test because you told me this product will work.”

  “What is your last name?”

  “*******…But that will not help. I failed my test because of you!!!”

  He kept rudely screaming at me and telling me it is my entire fault he failed his test. I just could not understand how he could fail his test with Urine Luck.

  “Sir, did you follow the directions?”

  “Yes”

  “Did you pour both of the vials in?”

  “What do you think I’m stupid?? I’m not an idiot I know how to read!!!!”

  “Ok, was the sample sent out to a lab? It is not recommended for instant screens.”

  “Uh”

  “Because you know it takes 90 minutes for the product to start working.”

  He got really quiet.

  “Ok, Thanks, Bye”

  Wow, I thought to myself. I cannot believe he just yelled at me so much for nothing. He must have felt horrible and I felt pretty bad for him as well.